Be The Boss of Your Feelings

Too many people (not choosing a sex since both men and women apply) exhibit lack of emotional stability; and worse yet are not aware of it! The good news is that anyone can raise their emotional intelligence (EI) with self-reflection and supportive friends/family. EI is the knowledge of human emotion and knowing how to use it. In other words, the ability to monitor one's own and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.

Studies have shown that people with higher EI have greater mental health, exemplary job performance, and more potent leadership skills (Wikipedia). On Facebook I follow the Business Insider where I came across an interesting article (via Entrepreneur): In Business and Love, Emotional Intelligence Rules. It's a short read about 5 habits that emotionally intelligent people practice in order to be successful in business and their personal life.

1) Follow actions, not words.
Talk is cheap! Screen for a solid track record and consistency of behavior or accomplishments. Watching what someone does speaks more about them than listening to what they say about themselves.

2) Check yourself.
Learn to push pause on your own emotions when they suddenly give you the urge to express themselves. There is a time and place for that, and it is usually with your friends and family, not at the workplace. People who have high EI rise above such outbursts and consider the party may be distracted by a personal issue. Remember, it's not always about you.

3) Keep the end goal in mind.
Keeping and eye on the big picture helps people not get lost in the minute details. Learn to let go of petty perceived sleights, don't stew about it nor plot revenge. It is easier to find common ground and to negotiate a deal with a difficult person when the focus is on what is most important. Do not get sidetracked by petty annoyances.

This goes for relationships as well. If a long-term committed partnership with your spouse is your priority, then you are less likely to focus on the proverbial toothpaste cap conundrums that trip up so many couples. Focus on the partnership being a lifelong collaboration.

4) Cleanse out the toxins.
Good business feeds off good energy. People with high EI know that there are enough positive people to not have to manage negative ones. Even high performers who are manipulative, combative or otherwise a negative force in the office are not a good fit.

The same goes for your love life. If someone zaps your energy and/or makes you feel bad about yourself, have the strength to move on. Emotionally intelligent people have little tolerance for others who are insincere (or downright lie), critical, needy, or have addictive habits. There are some people that are better off out of your life.

5) Stay connected.
No matter what happens, emotionally intelligent people make all efforts to take the high road and keep the connection alive and positive. There is no need to obliterate a bridge simply because a relationship ends. No matter how sour the last interaction might have been, you never know when you will cross paths again - or need that person in the future.

Those are the 5 habits that emotionally intelligent people practice to be successful in business and their personal lives. Try incorporating some of them in your daily life and see how it goes. If it works and produces positive results, stick with it. Either way, come back and comment below.